“Feminist: A person who believes in the social, political, and economical equality of the sexes”
No where in this definition is the statement that solely women are feminists. No where does the definition mention that feminists believe in the superiority of women. There are so many misconceptions about the term ‘feminism’ that confuses what the actual meaning is.
I personally like to consider myself a feminist, but not in the way some people do. I think that women deserve the same rights as men in business, relationships and in society, however, I do not think that women deserve more power than men in these instances.
Why do we assume that suppressing one group will empower the other? Even if it does, why is this a good thing? Why is taking the importance from one side and giving it to the other the right thing to do?
If you want fairness within the two groups, you need to enforce equality, rather than fight for a shift in power.
There’s nothing wrong with a woman earning the same wage as a man in the same position, and there’s nothing wrong with a man doing the house work while a woman is working. Still in this day and age we have an emphasis on gender roles, and the ‘traditions’ that were once socially acceptable, but aren’t any longer. House work traditionally was a woman’s role, as was staying at home and devoting their lives to their family on the basis that the house was clean and dinner was provided. In turn, it was a man’s job to go to work and earn a living for his family, then come home expecting to be treated like a king.
Like those traditions, I’ve grown up in a family where there are expectations placed upon both the women and the men. There are three generations of people living in my house. My dad who was born in the late 40’s and grew up in the 50’s and 60’s where these traditional roles were established (think Pleasantville), my mum who was born in the late 60’s and grew up with the female revolution, who sees the world more openly than my dad but still respects the ideas and traditions that he believes in. Then there’s me. I believe in feminism and the power of women, but I also don’t think it’s fair to undermine men and classify them all in a certain way.
Like family gender roles, there are so many stereotypes placed on men which aren’t true, and the majority of these stereotypes are placed on the generalisation of men by the popular majority of female feminists.
Not all men are power sick perverts who will underpay a woman just because she is a woman. Not all men abuse women or objectify them just because they may have more strength than a woman does. Yes, it is undeniable that there is a large portion of men who do, but it is also unfair of ‘feminists’ to just assume that all men are like that.
What people forget as well is that women are allowed to want to make their husbands and families happy. I was in a conversation not long ago where someone said “Beyoncé is derogatory to women because she sings about sexuality… have you heard her song ‘Blow’?”. I’m not just saying this because I love Beyoncé, but because what people who don’t take the time to listen to her music don’t know is that she is all about empowering women (Who run the world? Girls!) but she also loves her husband and enjoys their intimate relationship, and what’s wrong with that?
Also, haven’t you heard her song ‘Flawless’?!
I’m going to bring up a point I made in my Kim Kardashian post, and reiterate that women globally loved the show Sex and the City, which is easily one of the most openly sexual programs that is based on women. Why can people support a show like that which at times can be very derogatory but they hate on one woman with a few songs about the same topic? It makes no sense.
One of my favourite TV shows ever is That 70’s Show, which is obviously set in the 70’s, a time where equal rights was a social practice in the making. Woman fought desperately to separate themselves from the expected social conventions of the past, and from there were able to set the standard of equality that we know of today.
My favourite episode was in season 7 where Donna wants to go to a feminist rally, and Eric goes there to surprise her and says “Women should be able to walk through this park without being afraid. In fact, some day I hope that I can walk through this park without being afraid.” [queue laughter] Then, Donna decides that they should make out in the park’s bushes, and Eric accidentally pulls her hair, and Donna says “Ow, Eric get off”. The feminists then hear this and chase Eric, capture him, and strip him of his clothes and write humiliating messages on his body. It was funny but it was also really unfair that Eric wasn’t asked any questions, and that he himself was violated because it seemed as though he was violating Donna’s rights as a woman. Yes, in the instance that he actually was, then this reaction is totally acceptable, but in a lot of cases, men are wrongly accused of harassing women just because stereotypically, if they were seen in a situation at the wrong time, that’s what it can look like; but even that, who said it was okay to wrongly accuse someone in the first place, and secondly, humiliate them publicly without any questions asked?
Why is vilifying someone okay just to accredit someone else?
Sometimes we have to realise that a man’s pride is something that has been embedded in them so strongly that questioning it can result in situations that can be derogatory to women, but not every man is like that.
I am so sick of seeing Facebook statuses like “Over guys, they’re all the same” but they’re not, it’s not every man’s fault that you are attracted to that type of man, or that your actions as a woman don’t have the same consequences that his do.
I personally am over seeing this happen, and if asked, I will say that I am a feminist because I do believe in the rights of women, but I will never be okay with slamming all men just because of the mistakes of some men. More than that, I think it’s more important to believe in the equality of the sexes, rather than debate over which deserves their rights more.