A lot of thought has gone into writing this, I contemplated finishing the piece and not posting it, but I also contemplated that as much relief as I felt while writing it, may be just the same amount of relief that you might get from reading it. I’m taking this blog to a new place, starting with lifestyle, and this is something that has become very important to me, and as fashion, beauty and writing is a big part of my life, so are these concerns and so are the results of these concerns… Lets call them “revelations”.
Lately I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to, well, pretty much anything. I’m constantly busy, stressed and focusing all of my attention of things that aren’t particularly my cup of tea. I think it’s come to that time of the year when everything becomes serious (or people are finally realising that the first four months of the year could’ve been passed in a more productive way…) Regardless, everywhere I go, people are stressed.
Granted I am a year 12 student so the majority if people that I speak to are already stressing for exams, worrying about why and where they missed out on that 1% on their tests, or if you’re in my case your theatre production should be ready to perform this week and you feel completely unorganised, and, finally, our social lives are kind of hanging on by a thread.
Everyone becomes sensitive and snappy, friendships fall apart and new ones form, and sometimes you have to deal with things that are larger than you think you can cope with. If you’re like me, you begin to prioritise and you realise that this is the time in your life when sometimes you have to put yourself, your needs, and your aspirations first. So, that’s where some new philosophies, different outlooks and a welcoming mindset come in.
Sometimes, we forget what’s really important, and it takes something serious and emotionally hard to face for you to realise what it is that you’re missing. Sometimes that push we need is a push off of the edge, because once you reach the bottom, there’s no other way to go except up.
I know, it’s totally cliche, but it’s so true. In a time where you feel lost, you begin to imagine what it is that will help you to find yourself; you truly understand what’s missing, and what steps need to be taken to replace that empty feeling.
I’m not going to take a materialistic approach and turn this around into a post about how “money can make you happy” or about how “I really needed that bag in my life” because what i’ve realised is that when you have everything emotionally, you long for material things, because we can’t help but want more. Once you experience something that may not leave you in the best place, our desire for everything else becomes overwhelming, and some manage to find happiness in inanimate objects. Those lifeless concepts that we think bring us happiness work until you need advice and have nothing to turn to except a Celiné bag and five pairs of Louboutins.
As a self-confessed materialistic person, you can quote me on the words “money doesn’t buy happiness, but i’d rather cry in my Ferrari” but here I am encouraging selfishness of a certain sort. The sort of putting your emotional needs first, and making yourself happy by what ever means possible. If that means cutting ties with people who make you unhappy, then do it. If that means sacrificing duties imposed by others so that you have the time to do something for yourself, then just do it. If it means selflessly donating your time to charity and walking away knowing that you’ve done something good, go for it. Stop worrying about what other people are going to say. Regardless of what it is that you’re doing, ask yourself “will this make me happy?” if the answer is “yes” or “in time, this will make me happy” then reach for it, because you will never be truly content if you are hiding what you feel for the convention of others. Keeping peace can only go so far until your inner peace is shattered, and once something is shattered, it is close to impossible to glue back together.
Sometimes you have to listen to Queen Elsa and “Let it Go”, and sometimes, you have to put people in a position to do the same.
I think that the original idea behind this post is that there are two types of selfish, and that one of them isn’t selfish at all, because in the end, if you’re happy, you therefore become capable of making others happy, and what’s selfish about that?